Kaylaroo

Try as I might I can't imagine Gandhi tweeting. Hey whatever works though. I'll take it.

Nostalgia will always find you.

free writing free masons free willy free cell free peoples free fall free music free free free

I love how words can shed their meaning. After all, meaninglessness is the natural state of language.

I somehow forgot my password for facebook. I havent used that password for eons and I somehow managed to sign on last night by answering secret questions. Already the rents are trying to force me off this computer. Switzerland is beautiful of course. Its about the most pristine place I have ever seen. The mountains really give you perspective (humans are less than ants in relation to these hulking mountains).

I miss my boys a lot.

They are the only reason I would ever consider coming back. (Although I don't envy them the Winter that they have).

I miss you.

I feel isolated here at the top of Europe. At least I have the mountains to comfort me.

Write or call you when I can.

I'm going to try to stop handicapping myself

no

I'm going to stop handicapping myself.

Also, working for the man is not for me...

So I'm going for it

and if I end up on the street well at least I'll be a doctor

Animal behavior here I come baby

(even if you smell like rancid meat and cat urine)

The allure of tomorrow is always stronger than today

I had a really awesome one.

I guess I didn't really expect to feel the pinch of economy or at least not yet. That's when you know you're not a kid anymore. The news is relevant. But we'll make it.

PauL and Corey are leaving so I've read and heard. I never see you guys much anyway but I guess that seals it. More East coast traitors. I feel like going too. I hope you get out.

And in the end we may all make our separate moves out there and reconvene. The west coast calls me a little more each day.

Ian wants me to play CS. Its been a long time since a boyfriend has tried that one on me. I remember how you all were about that game. Maybe its more fun than it looks. I did like halflife.

Oh and I got a kitten. Probably didn't get the job though.

Happy belated Birthday to Keith. Sorry I was too sick to show.

Eclectic is good.

I know what I need to do now. Finally some focus.

There is so much but I think I might be able to handle it?

Well a normal person could handle it so why not me.

Here goes operation making up for lost time.

I love cats

Or is it?

No no it really isn't.

and I miss my Mike.

also... potatoes for both.

for the world to be so right.

So many people have given up on government and I can't blame them. I too was ready to give up on politics. If nothing else, this presidential race has given so many people hope again. There is a 98% chance that Obama will win the popular vote today. McCain's only chance is to steal the election through our electoral college system. Florida is one of the most important battlegrounds because we have 27 electoral votes.

So come on Florida... let's show the world that we aren't fuck ups and be the nail in McCain/Palin's political coffin.

To those people who are still skeptical about Obama - have you ever listened to the man? He has done everything right here and his ideas really have potential to save this country from itself.

To those defending the status quo... step aside and realize that you are the minority and you're standing in the way of what is good and necessary for our country.


Let's do this thing.

This is such a transitional period of my life. I don't know which way is up or down or sideways. Worst of all I feel like I am no longer making progress. There are so many things that parade as progress though. I feel stuck in myself and the role I have created for myself. The only fulfilling things in my life are Ian and research. I feel again that I am waiting for something but also that it wont come to me. I have to go out and make change in my life but I don't know where to start. I need more than what I have allowed for myself.

I thought I would be excited to be out of school but instead I feel a lack of traction. I'm not learning.

In so many ways I am still a child and knowing that doesn't motivate me as it should. I feel so illprepared for this life. There is something about my sensitivity that is damning but the fear is the nail that is sealing me in. To think about it makes me want to avoid it as always. So here I am in this mildly pleasant cyclical purgatory and I'm waiting for a lifeline that I know I have to be for myself.

So waiting is not the answer either, but I feel so tired.

Maybe this job at the University will be the way out. I need a way out.

This idea is just starting to take hold in my mind and it's still very fragile...

but I may go the academic route and stay in school for the rest of my life

It would be hard, but I think I could make a very good professor.

I just don't think I am cut out for the business world. Academic bullshit I can take.

Still mulling it over. If I get this IRB job I will have at least one more year to work it out.

All my work might be paying off. I have this great opportunity to work at the University. As long as I don't blow it..

I hope I don't blow it.

I am also slated to present at a professional conference this month. It's time to set myself apart.

I can do this.

In the meantime, I am staying as calm as possible. I could use a little distraction though.

All I need is a little inspiration and a little less tedium

but all the same

I'm as happy as I can be right now and it's all your fault

I am seriously going to go mad. If I could grow a beard and stick a bone in it I think I would at this point.

Wait no I wouldn't.

I am too confined to be crazy. It's reached that point now I think. There is a freedom in being crazy that I don't think I will ever possess.

Everything seems on the verge of being perfect. And I, the person I am, cannot for the life of me grasp the concept of being content with this contentment.

Maybe it's greed.

I think I will work on going crazy.

And side B is so much sweeter.

Moving back to Jax soon but somehow this time I don't feel so upset about it. I know I'm heading back there to work my ass off but I can't help but feel a little excited.

It helps that Ian is excited too.

Despite the upcoming stress, I feel good.

Times they are a'changing again and maybe one day I wont need to be so cynical

Going to Nimben soon

its a throw back to the 1960's in town form

home so soon I can almost taste it

almost

and I'm pretty happy about it

also...

not that long till I'm home

also...

Australia is way cool